home with the intention of not returning, your route was west.
You were 18, brimful of bile enough to last a rusted lifetime.
There you sat, in an enclosure of steel and rubber, plastic
and glass, speeding across the rolling gut of the Midwest,
and glass, speeding across the rolling gut of the Midwest,
safe at last you thought, you thought
tendrils that grow and thrive in the shade of underthings.
Your body a ball of dough, kneaded wrong by a careless baker.
You let the screen door slam on the humid bareness of the hot
House on the road, wheeling past any manner of madmen,
only a steel frame and speed barring you from...
Who is keeping who captive in a Des Moines shed?
Whose hands are where? Whose father locks the door
as he enters the pink bedroom? Who? You
got yourself as far from before as you could possibly be--
Finally, Point Reyes, metallic dawn crosshatching the farthest rim.
You there on the shore of the wilder ocean where the earth
so easily tilts on its arc, where surfaces shift like primordial
puzzles, the tide swallows whole with its guttural tongue.
got yourself as far from before as you could possibly be--
Finally, Point Reyes, metallic dawn crosshatching the farthest rim.
You there on the shore of the wilder ocean where the earth
so easily tilts on its arc, where surfaces shift like primordial
puzzles, the tide swallows whole with its guttural tongue.
And you thought, that is nature, that is earth, that is normal.
And this thought was the first to tear at the heart of your mystery.
And this thought was the first to tear at the heart of your mystery.
(last line refs. Hamlet's question to Guildenstern, III.II.365-366)
6 comments:
Some fantastic images in the first stanza, "rusted lifetime," "rolling gut of the midwest."
And the second stanza - wow, powerful! You say so much in so few words. In just the lines of "locking the door as he enters the pink bedroom," and "as far from before as you can possibly be," I ache for her.
Using the ocean to tie it all together is very powerful and well done. An angry, wild sea is a nice parallel.
Beautiful and the rythm feels animated and wave-like.
"Finally, Point Reyes, metallic dawn crosshatching the farthest rim" - Brilliant imagery.
Wow! Just wow! Yeah the rhythm is profound and rolling, but that's not the best part. Loved all of the line breaks. Also, to find the abstract in the topical, oh yeah.
So many great lines, it's hard to pick, but I really loved "Your body a ball of dough, kneaded long by a careless baker.: 'cause of the sneaky play of "need" and "knead". I first read it as "...long kneaded as..". Not sure if that's better meter. Interesting ambiguity there, as least in my own mind. Dispensing with the 'cleverness' I suspect "long needed"and "needed long" eventually merge into the same abstraction. That's just me.
Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate them so very much.
Gerry, that line has caused me some headaches. I'm so glad you picked up on the ambiguity. I toyed with "long kneaded..." Then I had "kneaded wrong..." for a little while. But that seemed to cut the ambiguity, and I want it to remain somewhat hazy (or humid). I'm sure I'll keep tinkering with it.
The note of despair, in several of the lines and imagery, is heartrending. It brings out in me the instinct to comfort. Now, that's powerful in terms of eliciting a response. :)
I do enjoy what you do with words Megan. The images you conjure up inside my mind, are always strong.
Beautifully rendered, you.
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